CHOOSING AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

Hey! How was your weekend?

Happy New Month, it’s good to have made it to the second half of 2023. I don’t know about you but July is my month of many Firsts and I’m working towards getting a whole lot of great stuff done for the first time and I think it is safe to celebrate the first post on our blog this month... Grrriiiin! Cheers to that!

So, what are we talking about today? By the way, I have a question for you but that is if you read this post to the end. It’s a long read.

Last week, I made a post about reaching out to people and opening up to them if we really need help and somewhere in the comments section, some lovely person left a comment about wanting to get someone they could open up to. So, today I decided to pick that comment up and make it the cente of our discussion.

So this; today is about choosing an accountability partner.

Before we proceed, I want to establish that I am not an authority on this subject; these are my personal thoughts and I only write as inspired and from reasonable Christian perspective.

To start with, an accountability partner is simply someone who is aware of your journey and is there to support, remind, caution, encourage and hold you responsible for your actions in a bid to ensure that you achieve a specific goal. S/he is the one person you voluntarily decide to and share your struggles with in a bid to attain a desired positive outcome.

An accountability partner may be absolute or not in the sense that you only account to them about a particular area of your life and not another. For instance, if I decide to do a 30 day writing challenge, I will want to have someone who will keep me on my toes to ensure that I achieve that goal; s/he may not necessarily be of help to me as it concerns my spiritual life or in my finances and relationships.

However, in the context of our discussion, we will look at one whose role is more holistic and cuts across almost every area of your life.

So, here are very key things one should do or check for when choosing an accountability partner.

1.      Be Specific: In agreeing to be accountable to someone, you must have a very clear goal and develop appropriate and realistic objectives for achieving such a goal which should be time based. You both must know the scope and extent of your partnership and set clear boundaries. (Make person no go d pass em sef)

 

2.      Your partner should be a relevant resource to your goal: Before choosing an accountability partner, ensure that s/he has what it takes to be a guide in the area in which you are seeking support. It is expected that such a person has commensurate experience in such an area. For instance if you are seeking spiritual guidance, it is more profitable to have as your accountability partner, a more matured Christian who has been in the faith for a longer time and has demonstrated measurable growth in sync with his/her number of years in the faith.

How do you expect someone who is struggling with their academics to give you academic support?

 

3.      S/he must share the same values as you: Imagine you want to save a particular amount of money and then your partner doesn’t believe in saving money, s/he is frivolous and knows only to chop life. What do you think will be the outcome of that partnership? Here is a ground rule; as a believer, you CANNOT keep an unbeliever as an accountability partner because you do not hold the same values. And more than just being born again your accountability partner should have a reputable Christian Testimony having the fear of God and ultimately ruled by the Spirit of God.

 

4.      S/he must be of the same gender as you: While we might argue the innocence and pure intentions in our actions, the voice of wisdom cautions that for a young person, it is highly inappropriate to keep an opposite sex as your accountability partner. The only exception is if you are already in a relationship and at the threshold of marriage or you are already married in which case your relationship partner is your number one accountability partner however, (for the unmarried) there is still need to have another friend who is the same sex as you in case of any eventualities. While it can happen, the aim of having an accountability partner is not to graduate into a relationship except you already set out having plans for that; which in my opinion is almost manipulative.

It is not undoable to maintain a pure partnership with the opposite sex however, as believers, we cannot trust ourselves too much to throw caution to the wind.

 

5.      S/he must be accessible and committed: Never have as an accountability partner someone who you have to fill out a long form before you get to see or talk to them. Time is of the essence and s/he should be willing to give you reasonable attention when/where it is necessary. (No d do television accountability)

 

6.      S/he must be trustworthy: your accountability partner should be someone who you can trust with your deepest secrets during and after the time of the partnership. (Make e no be person wey go carry your story go use am preach one powerful sermon for Ring Rd.­ Hahahaha) S/he should be one to understand your pain and sympathize with you yet still tell you the truth even when it hurts.

Finally and most importantly, be led by God’s spirit and by the counsel of wisdom. Many people have fallen prey to the jaws of wolves in sheep clothing. Diligently seek the face of God before venturing to reach out to someone that you will account your life to, seen that God is ultimately the one we must all account our lives to in the grand and final analysis of things hereafter.

For our question; check the first comment and feel free to reply with your thoughts on it.

Thanks for patiently reading through.